Posted in Academics, Climate, the future, &tc

Saviour Syndrome: thoughts-in-process

I’ve noticed a trend, lately, in a lot of the circles I move in or at least brush against, and it’s something I’m starting to label, since I’m coming across it so often. Help me think through this?

I’m calling it “saviour syndrome” because I’m coming across a lot of religious language and mythos from sources I would expect to be fully secular, or atheist, or at least agnostic or pagan or heavily critical of the Christian narrative. It’s frankly pretty puzzling at first, but given more thought and what I know about the origins of settler society on Turtle Island, it comes clear after a bit of thought. At least, to me. I want to know if I’m off-base or what I haven’t thought about, since this is grounded in my own experience as a cis, white, 3rd-gen Dutch settler woman who grew up in the Christian Reformed Church ethnoreligious community. So there’s a lot I might not be seeing. But this is what I have seen.

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Posted in Climate, the future, &tc, Life

Stop: Shower Time!

This water timer on my shower wall was given to me by a friendly young volunteer at the Waterloo Region Water Conservation tent at my local farmer’s market this past summer. It’s a simple blue octagon bisected with a small hourglass; the top reads STOP IN TIME in white block letters, and the bottom features the Region’s brand image. It came with a rubber suction cup so I could stick it to the wall of my shower, able to view it easily when showering.

I thought it would be a good idea – and it is. It’s a great idea, actually. I assume that whoever developed this little timer thingy measured how much water goes down the drain from the showerhead in roughly 4.5 minutes, the amount of time precisely that the hourglass measures and, in order to curb excessive water use, the Region hands these out free to citizens.

It’s very nifty: it saves the environment and on my water bill, and I take very brief showers as it is. What’s not to like?

It mocks me.
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Posted in Publications

Surviving the Wilds of the Panhandle: an expression of queer futurity in (spite of) the present world

Earlier this summer, the curator of The Art Gallery at University of West Florida commissioned a text from me to accompany the ceramic art exhibit of Justin Quaid Grubb. Here’s the catalogue with my essay, in all its glory:

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Posted in Climate, the future, &tc, Life

The new hawtness

Listening to the latest “What on Earth?” podcast episode from CBC and, among other things, they are discussing the heat dome that killed upwards of 600 people in British Columbia in summer 2021.

The heat dome also extended east over Alberta, and amiskwaciwâskahikan (where I was living at the time) was in its grips for about five days, give or take. My partner and I were living on the eleventh floor of an older apartment building, which had no air conditioning.* It was a corner apartment, so the breeze coming through was enough to cool us on the hottest days up until that point; we had a fan to aid air circulation, and so we were mostly fine. Or so we thought.

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Posted in Climate, the future, &tc

dread is a luxury emotion

and i am privileged af to feel it, but i don’t know that i’ve felt its sharp edge since before the accident.

yes, with the pandemic came a certain generalized existential anxiety that the whole world shared in, and certainly the rise of crypto-fascism coupled with accelerating climate breakdown has been an ever-present fear these past few years, but dully – as if all the bad news were like gusts of wind against the globe of a hurricane lamp protecting a candle, an assault that is constant but outside, that does not touch the self.

or that the self does not allow to touch it.

perhaps i am slowly adjusting. “adaptation” is in vogue these days, especially in circles concerned with the havoc of climate disaster; maybe my ontology has morphed itself into a new resilient form. i can’t even attribute this to being in my thirties, as I’ve been here for a while now. it would be nice if anxiety were a phase, something that all 20-somethings go through and come out the other side of, more stable.

it’s most likely the medication, though.

Posted in Dark night of the soul resources

Dark night of the soul

It’s Good Friday, so I feel this is an appropriate theme for the day. From the category description:

“In religious circles, the phrase “dark night of the soul” indicates a stretch of time (not necessarily a single night; it can be much longer) when one is undergoing a crisis of faith and feeling utterly abandoned. For the non-religious, this can translate into a crisis of identity, of meaning, etc.

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Posted in Life

On consuming (animal products) ethically

A thing I’m doing is eating less meat. To be fair, I always have done so – I was an economic vegetarian until quite recently (meaning that meat is expensive and difficult to make well, so I just didn’t really bother buying much for myself, though I ate meat whenever it was provided to me by family/friends/restaurants), and after a brief period of eating lots of bison and beef (because Alberta), I’ve started to reduce again. I’m still not at the point where I refuse it if offered, but I’m dabbling in only ordering vegan/vegetarian options when I can, and only prepping vegan/vegetarian options for myself at home.

Just a note, before we get into it: these actions are a result of my personal attitude and positioning. Avoiding animal products can be spendy,1 and depends mightily on where you are located, your culture, your family, your allergies and likes/dislikes…. food is so personal and so tightly bound up with identity.

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